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HNTBL 81: Keep It Calm

By: TheDragonBoydeviantArtEka's PortalArchive of our Own

Summary

It’s time for Jack to face the most dangerous, difficult challenge of his life. Befriending predators and surviving stomachs? No. Homework. Magic potion homework. Good luck, Jack.

Content

How Not To Become Lunch: 81 - Keep It Calm



“Mom, can I use the kitchen to make a magic potion for class?” Jack called into the next room.

“Of course, dear. Oh, but I just put out the stove after cooking, so be careful, it’s still hot,” came the not-too-distant reply.

“Okay!” he called back, glancing over the kitchen in preparation before heading for the cabinets.

“So, this is homework for your magic class?” Fiona asked curiously.

“Yeah, we have to make a sleeping potion,” her friend replied, opening a drawer.

The werewolf cocked her head with interest. She’d always sort of wondered how the whole humans/magic/potions thing worked, but most humans probably wouldn’t be willing to let her hang around and watch. To be fair, if she were watching, most of the time it would probably be to look for an opening to pounce…

“You have any homework from your classes?” Jack asked as he continued his search.

“Just a little bit of math I did before the party yesterday. Plus the advanced pred stuff; they always expect you to make catches.”

*blurb*

Jack overheard the lump in her belly while continuing to dig through kitchen supplies. The dinner she’d had at Sarabeth’s birthday the night before had shrunk considerably in size, but ‘he’ was still fairly noisy.

“Guess you’ve got that taken care of. I wish all I had to do for homework was eat.”

“So do I,” Fiona agreed. “But I’m sure I’ll have to write an essay on this guy tomorrow.”

“Ah, here it is,” Jack interjected, finally retrieving what he needed and placing it on the table next to his hefty textbook.

The black, cast-iron, mini cauldron clanked as he set it down. Though it bore a strong resemblance to the large vessel Ms. Caster kept in her classroom, in which he’d once seen her dissolve an entire student, this one was only the size of a small pot, intended for much smaller brews. Fiona sniffed in the object’s direction.

“So, what’s first?” she asked.

“Um…” Jack glanced over his book, thick with text. “To start, I have to rinse it, then fill it most of the way with water, then cast that one spell to purify it.”

“Doesn’t sound too hard.”

“Yeah…” Jack agreed hesitantly, frowning a touch as he read further on. He hoped the rest would be that simple too…

“Oh, Fiona,” greeted Jack’s mother, entering the room as her son brought his potion vessel toward the sink. She seemed shocked and even scared at first, just for a split second- her flash subconscious response to the sight of a surprise predator- but very quickly regained composure in an instant when she recognized the familiar wolf. “I didn’t realize you were still here,” she said warmly; very much the most pleasantly surprised any human could be to unexpectedly find a predator in their home.

“I figured I’d stay and help Jack with his homework,” the werewolf replied.

“Well, isn’t that nice!” Mrs. Eten beamed, earning a little wag from Fiona’s tail. “You know, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the two of you together like this, and after all those years. I’m so glad the two of you are still such good friends.”

The wolf’s tail wagged a bit wider and with pride.

“He’s so lucky. We both are,” the mother continued. “When I saw how down and upset he was last week, and there was just nothing I could do about it… But you were able to get through to him and bring him back up.”

Fiona’s tail rather quickly stopped. And nearby, Jack accidentally spilled half the water from his cauldron back into the sink, muttering something ‘mother safe’ under his breath as he reached for the tap again to add more. The friendly werewolf kept her face, but couldn’t help wondering if Jane’s would look considerably different, if she knew exactly why Jack had been so upset. Or how literally Fiona had needed to ‘bring him back up’.

“And you do such a good job of keeping him safe too. I just can’t thank you enough.”

Fiona was just about to start visibly cringing, when a sudden thought in the human woman’s mind came just in time.

“Oh! Actually, you wait here, I have something for you!” With a fresh smile, Mrs. Eten hurried off toward one of the nearby pantries. A moment later, Jack turned around, carrying the mini cauldron over to the kitchen table. Fiona glanced at him guiltily, but he smiled back at her encouragingly.

“She’s still right, you know,” he whispered through his friendly expression, but her canine ears had no trouble hearing. She glanced away, but smiling this time, her tail giving another flutter as her ears un-drooped a bit.

“Ah, here it is,” Jane called, a moment before emerging from the pantry. She returned to the table holding a baking tray, and it was far from empty.

“I made these as a gift for Anna. I was going to bring them with me to work tomorrow, but I can make more later. I’d rather you have these while they’re fresh.”

Jane set the tray on the table next to her son’s in-progress homework. An enticing, warm scent wafted up to the pair of teen noses.

“They’re muffins, but with chunks of meat baked into them. Your dad used to love these, actually,” Jane told Fiona. “Oh, but remember to chew them to get the most of the flavor.”

“Oh wow, thanks!” the wolf girl replied with a genuine smile. Arguably deserved guilt aside, she’d always really liked Jack’s mom and she definitely appreciated the gesture. She couldn’t quite put it into words, but there was something so touching about the wholehearted trust and appreciation Jane showed to her. It wasn’t something she ever saw from any other human, except for Jack of course. And much like her son, Jane’s optimistic compassion made the young werewolf want to work twice as hard just to live up to it.

*gurgle* *glrp*

The mother glanced down at her guest’s hungry belly, unable to hide the flash of a nervous frown which never failed to peek out in such moments, even around her most trusted friends.

“Well, help yourself, dear,” Jane encouraged, her smile returning and the happy tone having never left her voice.

“Um, mom?” Jack interrupted. “How do you pronounce this part of the spell again? The conjugation in that context always messes me up.”

“Oh, let me see,” Jane replied, shifting her attention over to his textbook.

Leaving the mages at work, Fiona reached down and grabbed one of the muffins. Turning it around in her claws and giving it a few sniffs, she took in the odd texture of the pastry and the alluring scent of seasonings and chopped steak.

*nom*

*chomp* *chomp* *chomp*

*glrk*

Fiona’s tail fluttered. These were pretty good! She didn’t like a lot of human foods, but these were definitely among the best she’d tried. Jane said her dad had liked these, huh? …Well, she could certainly taste why. She imagined how he might have smiled while munching on one, while she reached down and grabbed another for herself.

As Jack aimed his wand at the black, metal pot and worked his lips around the strange gibberish that was his magic incantation, she was working her lips around another tasty treat.

*blurble*

“There, I think I’ve got it,” he decided.

“It sounded right to me,” his mother agreed. “I’ve got a few more things to do around the house, but if you need any more help, just ask. I might not be as good as my sister, but I can certainly cast a spell or two.”

“Thanks, mom.”

*chomp* *chomp* *chomp*

*gulp*

*splsh*

Jack couldn’t help but overhear the faint, muffled sound of his friend’s snack, dropping down into whatever thoroughly-digested remains of her previous dinner were still lingering in her stomach.

“So, what’s next for your potion?” Fiona asked.

“Um… So the next thing I need is drool,” he answered, reading from his book.

“Drool!? …Well, I mean, I guess I could…” the canine replied awkwardly, taking his words as a request.

“No, no. It has to be human drool,” he clarified. “For the magic.”

“Oh,” Fiona replied, both weirded out and relieved.

“Well, I guess I just…” Jack leaned forward over the cauldron and opened his mouth.

… … … …

Well?” his predatory companion finally asked with a giggle, having paused her binge to stare at the strange, vaguely comical scene.

“What!?” he objected. “I can’t just drool on command!” he explained in self-defense.

“It can’t be that hard,” she replied, slightly teasing, thinking over how often she had to clear her own maw with a little swallow.

“Well how would you do it, then?”

“I don’t know, I would just try to notice all the tasty smells in the air. Like these muffins, or-”

*guuurgle*

The werewolf glanced away, as she realized her train of thought was leading her right towards the single most alluring scent in the house, which also happened to be the reason why she was almost constantly drooling at least a little…

“Oh, right…” the marked boy muttered. The one time his mark might actually be able to help him and he couldn’t even smell it himself. “I’ll try the muffins thing, I guess…”

Holding his open mouth over the vessel once more, he tried to focus on the smell of his mother’s somewhat strange baking. Meanwhile, Fiona reached down and grabbed another for herself.

*nom*

*chomp* *chomp* *chomp*

*gulp*

*splsh*

“…Yeah, no, this isn’t working,” Jack said, closing his mouth. Even though they did smell kinda good, the sound of those muffins landing in the pool of ex-human sitting in her stomach killed even his subconscious appetite.

“Can’t you just spit in it?” Fiona asked.

“No, it has to be drool, not spit.”

“There’s a difference?”

“For potions, yes. Ugh, this is already harder than I thought.”

“You doing alright, kiddo?” Mrs. Eten asked, poking her head in as she passed by.

“I just have to figure out how to drool for this potion,” her son replied, mildly annoyed.

“Think of pickles,” she replied promptly.

“Pickles?” Jack questioned skeptically.

“Mm-hm. Always makes your mouth water,” she assured with motherly wisdom.

Jack glanced at Fiona, who simply shrugged- not entirely sure she knew what a pickle was. He shrugged right back but decided to go for it.

Okay… Pickles… Pickles… Pickles…

*dwip*

Fiona cocked her head. Sure it was nowhere near the levels of saliva she used to coat her prey on a weekly basis, but it had worked. She filed this little bit of detail away with all the other strange human facts she’d learned through her friendship with Jack.

*dwip* *dwip*

*chomp* *chomp* *chomp*

*dwip* *dwip*

*gulp*

*dwip*

*glurg*

“…Okay, I think that should do it. Man, you really like those things, huh?”

“They’re actually really good! Your mom really makes great pred food.” Luckily, in present company, there was no need for her to clarify the potentially ambiguous meaning of that last compliment. “…Do you think our dads ever shared these?” she thought aloud, Jane’s comment still bouncing around in her head.

“Heh… yeah I bet they did,” Jack chuckled, wiping the last of his ‘potion ingredient’ from his face. “He totally would have eaten weird stuff like that.” The shared thought hung between them for a quiet moment, until Fiona helped them along.

“So, what’s next?”

“I’ve got a few ingredients to add. Some calcium, magnesium, a bit of lavender…” he left the table to go through the cupboards again. “Mom, where do we keep the potion supplies again?” he called.

*nom*

“Check the right side!” came the response from elsewhere in the house.

*chomp* *chomp* *chomp*

“Right, right… Here we go.”

*glrk*

“My aunt actually sent most of this stuff over. She’s a potions expert,” the marked mage remarked, returning to the table with a little box full of ingredients.

“Oh yeah?” Fiona asked-

“Whoa! Watch it!” Jack exclaimed, as little mushy bits of muffin escaped his friend’s maw from the latest mouthful she hadn’t quite fully swallowed. He grabbed the cauldron off the table for safety.

Fiona clapped her hands over her muzzle in alarm and embarrassment before swallowing hard to fully clear her gullet.

*glrk*

“Sorry, sorry,” Jack apologized for his tone. “It’s just if anything wrong gets in here I have to start all over.”

Fiona, snout lowered, looked up at him with sad eyes like, well, a regretful canine. Jack couldn’t help but chuckle at the juxtaposition of such an ‘innocent’ face on a man-eating predator as prominent as his friend.

“Go on, enjoy your muffins, I’ll just do my homework on this side of the kitchen,” he teased, putting the mini cauldron down on the empty stovetop and bringing over his ingredients. “So… a few pinches of calcium…” he thought aloud as he added to the brew. “…A few of magnesium… … … … One lavender petal… … … Hey, I think it’s working!”

“Yeah?” Fiona asked, peeking over as best she could while keeping her munching maw at a safe distance.

The mixture inside the vessel had started taking on a nice, calming blue hue, something which Jack seemed quite happy about.

“Okay, I’m supposed to stir this a bit now before adding- wait…”

“What?”

“Why is it turning red?”

“Huh?”

“Red! Look, it’s turning red! It’s not supposed to do that. A sleeping potion turning red means… means…” he tried to remember and then it all came to him at once. “Oh no! The stove!” He snatched the cauldron away from the surface.

“What!?” Fiona repeated.

“The stove was still hot!”

“So!?”

“You have to brew a sleeping potion at a comfortable temperature! If you don’t it will wake up!”

“Wake up!? What does that even mean!?”

“It means we have to cool this thing down quick!”

“Jack!?” Mrs. Eten called, rushing into the room. “Oh no! Is the sleeping potion waking up!? I told you to be careful around the stove!”

“I know!” he replied, looking around frantically.

“Uh- uh- um- Should we blow on it or something?” Fiona suggested.

“No!” Jane replied immediately. “Blowing on a sleeping potion only makes it wake up faster. Fiona, go open a window. We need a nice, cool, natural breeze. Jack, follow her quick, but don’t shake the potion too much! Hurry!”





“Okay!” Jack breathed, still a bit tense from the unexpected excitement just recently past. “Had to start over, but we’re basically back to where we were before. Purified the water, got more of my drool, added the first few ingredients- at a comfortable temperature. Now I just need to stir it a bit.” He spoke rather quickly, which is similar to how he’d been moving; rushing to go back over the steps he’d already done.

He stuck the end of his wand into the brew and started beating it around, the inward-curved rim of the mini cauldron keeping any from spilling. Meanwhile, he looked over his textbook, trying to find the next ingredient.

“…Um… Jack? Is it supposed to…” Fiona muttered reluctantly, pointing an uncertain claw in the direction of his homework.

The marked boy stopped stirring and looked back at his brew. But even though he stopped mixing, the liquid didn’t stop churning. It bubbled and frothed like it was boiling, turned a deep black, and then a dark puff of smoke shot into the air, gradually forming into the shape of a human skull before fading away into the thin air.

Fiona sniffed for a moment but then quickly covered her snout.

“Oops…” Jack muttered, half aggravated, half embarrassed. “I forgot you’re not supposed to beat it to death. You have to stir slowly.”

“Does that mean you have to start over?” his werewolf friend asked sympathetically. He put a hand to his forehead.

Yup.”

“It’s alright, Jack. I mean, it’s just homework, right?”

“If I fail this assignment, I’m sure I’ll spend the rest of Monday in Ms. Caster’s stomach,” he reminded. His tone of voice made it clear that he’d been trying not to think of that detail. Fiona’s tail went stiff.

“Oh, right…” the werewolf muttered uncomfortably.

Of all the predators who could eat him, Jack really didn’t want to end up as Ms. Caster’s lunch. Not that he wanted to end up as anyone’s lunch, but definitely not hers.

“It’s alright, you can do it,” Fiona encouraged. “Let’s just try again.”





“Okay,” Fiona agreed in a calm voice, trying her best to keep both her friend and her friend’s potion relaxed. “So what’s next?”

“For the next ingredient, we need to add a bit of something soft. Maybe… maybe there are some plants around that are kind of soft? Or some fabric? I bet my mom has some spare scraps from her work somewhere.”

“Oh, what about this?” Fiona suggested, getting an idea. Running her claws through the fur of her neck a few times, she came away a few seconds later with a small handful of shedding.

“Huh…” Jack reached out and picked a tuft out of her palm. He doubted any of his classmates had ever used fresh werewolf fur as a potion ingredient like this, but it did feel plenty soft. “Yeah, this should work.” He dropped it into the cauldron and it lazily floated down, landing on the light blue liquid and sinking down slowly into the brew. “Thanks,” he offered with a smile. Fiona’s tail wagged.

“No pro- *UUURP*”

*splash*

A mortified Fiona threw both hands over her muzzle, but it was too late. Jack watched some half-digested remnant from her gut fly out and land smack in the middle of his potion. A moment later, and the pleasant lavender hue suddenly started shifting bile green.

*guuuurgle*

The metal cauldron itself let out a loud rumble that could give Fiona’s stomach a run for its money, and then a plume of brown/green smoke shot up like a long belch to fill the air. As the foul cloud lingered and shifted, the vague form of a man could briefly be seen in its shapes, gradually melting away into nothing, as a human would within a predator’s belly.

“…It was the muffins, I swear,” Fiona muttered meekly in defense.

Jack gave a long, drawn-out sigh.

“You’ll still remember me after I’m Caster chow, right?” he asked.

“Jack!” the guilty werewolf pleaded, very much not appreciating the morbid humor.

“Okay, okay… Just get rid of this one for me, alright?”

“Yeah, sure…” She reached over and grabbed the cauldron, which to her sensitive nose was starting to smell an awful lot like… what it looked like. “Sorry,” she finally muttered aloud, though the word had been so plain on her face that she really hadn’t needed to.

“It’s alright…” Jack accepted. “I just hope we get it right soon. It’s getting late…”

“Jack?” Mrs. Eten called, poking her head in and eyeing the cauldron as Fiona carried it out. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied with all the vigor of a deflated balloon, and an expression to match.

“Still working on the sleeping potion?”

He nodded and frowned, to which his mother added her own, concerned frown.

“Is there anything I could do to help?”

“Um…” He glanced away. It’s not that he wouldn’t take all the help he could get, he just didn’t really know what to ask for. “I don’t know. It’s just kinda hard…”

Mrs. Eten thought in worried silence for a moment before Fiona’s muzzle popped back into view.

“Don’t worry, Jack. This time, we’re gonna get it. I know you can do it,” she encouraged. They were such easy words to disregard in his mental state, but the way her eyes backed them up so earnestly helped them hit home. Jack smiled a bit, and his mother couldn’t help but catch a bit of it as well.

“That’s the spirit, Fiona!” Mrs. Eten agreed. “We’ll do everything we can to help.”

“Thanks,” the marked boy replied, small smile widening a touch. “Alright, let’s do it…”





“So that’s it!? We finally got it all right!?” Fiona asked, tail wagging in excitement despite her exhaustion.

“Well, mostly,” Jack replied, even more exhausted than his friend. “The last step is to let the potion rest quietly overnight for at least a full eight hours.”

*yaaaaaawn* went Fiona, putting her canine maw on full display to the kitchen in its dimming light.

I could use some of that rest too,” the wolf remarked, standing up to stretch after a long stint of watching her friend work from across the room.

“Me three,” Jack agreed. “I think I’ll keep this over on the counter so it’s out of the way, then it’s about time I got some s- NOOOO- Huh!?”

It had all happened that fast.

He’d been mid-sentence when he’d felt his foot slip, tiredness weighing him down, his balance tipping, the potion he’d worked so hard on slipping from his grasp.

Fiona had watched it happen, noticed the disturbance in his posture almost before he had himself, with her eyes perfectly crafted to spot weakness and opportunity in her prey. By the time he’d started yelling, she’d already started moving, crossing the short distance between them. Pouncing with intent, she grabbed the cauldron in one set of claws, just as it left his fingers, and with her other arm braced herself against him to support his falling weight.

As far as Jack could register, he’d gone from tripping one moment, panicking the next, to suddenly resting against Fiona’s furred shoulder, his chest heaving from shock. A moment or two later, he registered the sight of his precious potion, safe in her hands, and then the feeling of her touch against his chest, holding him up.

She turned her head to look at him, their faces fairly close, and time seemed to pause there for a moment. She’d saved him once again. His breathing relaxed. Sure, it hadn’t been one of those ‘hanging out of a gullet’ moments, but it had been a save nonetheless.

“T…Thanks, Fi,” he breathed in relief, standing up straight again.

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” she replied in a similar tone.

He started to smile a bit. He couldn’t help feeling it was… nice, knowing she was around to catch him if he fell. Not necessarily literally, but that she was there for him. She’d stuck by him all night. And even if she’d messed things up a couple times, there were always moments like this where Jack couldn’t help but feel really… really happy that she was around. Happy that they were back to being… themselves again. Even though he hadn't been back from his aunt's for that long, for that one rough week… he really had missed her, more than he had even realized. Even worrying about Caster's class tomorrow wasn't so bad with her around…

Fiona started to smile too, but glanced down before it could fully take hold. She looked over to the vessel she’d just rescued, knowing full well it was the key to her best friend’s fate as a human being, rather than a teacher’s lunch. “…You think it’s okay?” she asked worriedly, hoping the slight jolt hadn’t tainted it.

Jack- carefully- took it back from her and looked inside. Everything still seemed nice and blue and calm.

“…I think so…” he answered, mostly sure. “Guess we’ll find out tomorrow…”